The Kiss
by elsie
Summary: SquallxRinoa. ...picks up after the kiss!, and grows up with the FFVIII gang. Love is all we need...
1. prologue

Disclaimer: I love ffviii… this is for everyone like me. Though we all wish it, none of us own what we've spent hours writing about. Hope you like my story.

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**  
The Kiss**_  
prologue  
  
_

Hushed music from the ongoing Garden celebration drifted out to the balcony where they stood, in silent communication, watching the heavens. The moon shone bright and beautiful, and the waves made their quiet crashes, soft as one's own constant breath. For a moment, a gentle breeze swept her away, and she became lost in the silvery sliver of the moon's reflection on the sea, and the great expanse of star-filled sky. A bright flare caught her eye – it was their sign. The shooting star sent from above led her gaze… to him. Their eyes met, and then Rinoa knew Squall had been watching her all this time. She smiled for him, and wordlessly, asked him for one dance…

Squall looked at Rinoa with pure emotion in his gaze. He saw her signal; "one" she said, then, slowly, shyly, he smiled a rare smile for her, and moved forward toward his angel. Bravely, he pulled her into a gentle embrace, cradling her in his arms and taking her by surprise. She wanted a dance; he gave her a dream. For a moment, he hesitated, not knowing what next to do. Tilting his head down to rest it against hers, he searched her beautiful eyes, trying to communicate to her all the emotions he held in his own, unable to trust his feelings to words. Was it love he had? Was it love he saw? His next action surprised them both, as he ever so slowly leaned in… for the kiss.

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to come: just more! what are u waiting for??


	2. reverie

Disclaimer: I love ffviii… this is for everyone like me. Though we all wish it, none of us own what we've spent hours writing about. Hope you like my story.

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**  
The Kiss**_  
reverie  
  
_

Weeks later and Squall still couldn't get that night out of his mind. What a night… it was truly beautiful; not just the setting, but the girl. She made the stars look dim. And the kiss they shared would be in the history books forever… but the meaning behind it? It was such a new sensation to Squall. Undoubtedly though, it was momentous… it meant more than his whole life.

For now, his Garden duties were taken care of; instruction at the Garden resumed, new mission assignments were assigned, and Nida was directed to park Garden by Balamb, where it belonged. Squall needed to clear his mind, and so he left Nida and Xu to handle things while he took a break. Now that sorceress Ultimecia was gone, he had time again to wonder if his leadership was qualified, if he could carry the weight of a world on his shoulders again; they had won a great battle, but his battle was still waging within.

Gradually all the world was getting back to normal; monsters were being steadily exterminated, Esthar and Laguna sent the Lunatic Pandora to its final resting place of the moon, and Galbadia's tyrannical movement died along with the sorceress. The people of the world were happy, but Squall… of course he was happy… but he felt… empty.

This week everyone had gone home or visiting. Zell had gone to Balamb, not so far away, but he was staying the week with his mother and his friends there. Selphie and Quistis went to Trabia, to help out with the reconstruction effort, and other Garden members, including the good old disciplinary committee, were also there to support. Irvine said he was going to Galbadia Garden, but he probably ended up wherever his eyes led him. Squall himself had chosen to remain at Garden. And lastly, Rinoa… she was all over his mind, but nowhere near Garden. Squall thought back to yesterday when he dropped everyone off, confusedly.

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Everyone had chosen to spend the day together, and get in some quality time before leaving in the afternoon for their respective vacation spots. Monday morning, and everyone was up pretty early making last minute preparations, some for the day at hand and others for the week long vacation time. As soon as all the luggage and a picnic lunch was packed onto the Ragnarok, which Laguna was kind enough to allow Squall to keep, the group was off, on their way to the orphanage for a peaceful day.

In the Ragnarok, everyone was gathered at the bridge, relaxing as they took their time getting to Edea's. Selphie was piloting and talking with Irvine, Zell was half asleep in a chair (he wasn't really a morning person), and Quistis was making small talk with Rinoa, while Squall stood and looked out the window at nothing in particular.

"Look at Zell! He's knocked out!" Rinoa giggled along with Quistis. "He's so cute!"

They shared a quiet laugh. "Is he drooling?"

"I think so!" Rinoa nodded, causing both Selphie and Irvine to look and laugh.

Squall glanced over. Zell was in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position, sitting slouched in a chair and dreaming. _'What a guy,'_ he mused, turning back to the window.

Rinoa noticed Squall all by himself, probably thinking, she thought. She motioned to Quistis that she was going to see what was up, and Quistis smiled and went to chat with Selphie and Irvine.

Then Rinoa walked up to him, casually. A warmth crept into her heart as her mind focused on him, and she blushed a little, though no one noticed. Deciding to be bold, she stepped over to stand with her back directly in front of him, intentionally moving close to him, and then she looked outside to try and figure out what he was staring at. Probably nothing, she smiled, but she asked him anyway. "What are you looking at Squall?"

"You can see," he answered slowly, acknowledging her presence. Then he leaned back slightly, to rest against the wall connecting to the tall window.

"See what?"

With a nod of his head, he pointed outside to the pretty light blue heavens surrounding them. "It's beautiful." _'Like you.'_

Rinoa smiled. "Yes… the sky is very beautiful today. Makes me happy."

"Yeah…" _'What am I thinking?'_

"What are you thinking about, Squall?"

_'About you.'_ "Nothing."

_'How did I know,'_ she smiled. Then they were silent, and Rinoa listened quietly with a smile on her face to the conversation on the other side of the bridge. Almost unconsciously, she put a hand on the glass she was staring through, appreciating the world and all its glory. Squall was right; it was very pretty out today. Correction, it was exquisite.

Squall watched Rinoa as she raised her hand and pressed it to the glass; he saw her smiling and had the urge to smile with her. She had such an incredible effect on him; even her simplest smiles made him feel at peace. Slowly, her hand returned to her side, and he reached out to touch it, on impulse. As soon as their fingers met, electricity shot up his arm and his heart skipped a beat. He took in a deep breath as she turned to look at him, keeping the faint contact between their fingers and smiling shyling at him. With her own deep breath, she bravely took a step back, and leaned back against Squall's chest, making her feel warm all over. Gently, she tugged his arm around her waist, and then sighed, trying to relax. The only way that this relationship is going to get somewhere is if we get it moving, she thought, attempting to calm herself. He was tense, she could feel it; but then, she was too. Soon, they were in their own world, just the two of them together, without time or place or distraction, only beauty. They forgot about everything but each other, and glowed in each other's presence.

Squall stared down at the hand he held, amazed at how little it was. He played with her fingers, marveling at them, not knowing the effect it had on her, and unable to see Rinoa's now pink cheeks. She was also looking down at their hands, feeling safe and… squishy. _'Yep.__ Squishy,'_ she thought, feeling jello-like. Soon both were relaxed, and happy, very happy. She was still looking down as his other arm snuck around her, completing the embrace, and she melted completely, somehow finding the crook of his neck to rest her head against and leaning back more heavily. Squall only held her closer, and returned to watching the sky. He thought of the night of the Garden party and knew he liked the feeling of Rinoa in his arms. A lot.

Finally, they were approaching Edea's orphanage, and it wouldn't be more than ten minutes until they landed. Wanting to inform Squall and Rinoa, Quistis turned her head away from her conversation with Irvine and Selphie, and what did she see? Squall holding Rinoa as if they were in love! _'But we've all seen the signs,' _she thought, _'so maybe they are. But how did Rinoa get him to do that?' _Quistis almost laughed.

When Selphie noticed that Quistis hadn't returned to the most interesting discussion on Irvine's choice of clothing ever, she turned to see what was taking so long. What Selphie saw made her audibly gasp.

"Irvy, look!" she said excitedly, poking him in the arm.

Irvine turned to see Rinoa in Squall's arms. He grinned, slyly. "Lucky guy, he is."

All eyes were on the couple (save Zell's - he was asleep), but then even the silence didn't get their attention. "Hey guys, we'll be landing in about five minutes," Irvine called out.

It was enough to wake Squall out of his reverie. Remembering the others, he pulled away a little, to his (and Rinoa's) disappointment, and answered briefly. "Alright." _'Where were we just now?'_

Irvine chuckled again, and turned back to the controls. "Too bad I didn't see her first," he joked with a chuckle. Quistis and Selphie turned back as well, giggling with each other.

"They're so cute!" Selphie squealed.

Minutes later, Zell was drowsily toting the picnic stuff out of the Ragnarok to the orphanage, where the girls and Irvine were waiting. Squall lagged a bit behind him, sauntering at an easy pace, not in any hurry to desert the beauty surrounding him. Not like the flower field at the orphanage was any less beautiful, however. That was where they would picnic today. And that was where _they_ promised.

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The day passed quickly; after a relaxing picnic brunch, everyone talked and laughed together, playing silly games and enjoying themselves in that special field of wildflowers, migrating to the beach for a swim when the sun bore down on them full-force, around noon. While the males set up umbrellas and blankets, the girls got an early start in the cool blue water, having fun splashing and laughing loudly with each other. Soon enough, the guys joined them, even Squall, and they all sloshed around in the shallow water, content to spend their day together. They were like family.

Soon Rinoa and Quistis tired of the water games and walked to their towels, just outside large white umbrella's shade (that Squall, Zell, and Irvine set up) to sunbathe for a while, and rest up for the water war they were bound to have. Irvine and Selphie were squirting each other with water pistols, and Zell tried to teach a reluctant Squall how to surf, while the two tanners chatted and soaked up the sun.

"Nice suit," Quistis laughed to Rinoa, smirking inwardly. She knew why Rinoa had chosen to wear the blue bikini. Call it female intuition.

"Its not working," Rinoa answered flatly, "but in any case, I like yours too."

Quistis smiled in her pink bikini. "You don't need the swim suit, Rin."

Rinoa frowned. "Are you saying that if I parade around in my birthday suit instead, Squall will come over?"

"No, of course not!" she laughed. "What I meant is, you don't need a sexy suit to get Squall's attention," then smirking, she continued, "you'd need a bulldozer to knock him out of that contemplative mood he's always in!" Quistis laughed heartily at her own joke, and Rinoa just frowned more. "Just kidding, hon. Honestly though, I think Squall would come to you regardless of what you're wearing. He always does." Quistis smiled again. _'Those two...'_ she laughed to herself, not knowing how to describe them. Then she got up, noticing that Squall had quit trying to surf with Zell and was coming up onto the beach and heading straight for them. "I think I'm gonna try my hand at surfing with Zell," she said to Rinoa who nodded, and then jogged off towards the water, greeting Squall as she passed him.

Squall was silent as he sat on his towel, a few feet from Rinoa. He didn't bother to dry off, figuring the sun would do that job for him, and instead propped the cooler up behind him so he could lean back and sit comfortably. When he was set, he focused his gaze forward, watching four of his closest friends frolic in the clear water. He felt complete, and happy to have all his friends with him like this. As he looked on, the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile, one that didn't go unnoticed by Rinoa. She smiled with him, edging closer and closer to Squall until she was close enough to touch him. She sat up to caress his face lightly, and as she did he was startled from his reverie, and jerked his head at the touch.

"Smile, Squall… like you did on the night of the Garden party… its okay to…" She trailed off, her hand finding his as she lay down again on her towel, looking pleased.

He looked at her a second longer, then returned to watching his friends in the water, never releasing her hand.

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Later, all six friends engaged in a team water fight, as Rinoa had anticipated; it was the group's last game before departing for their respective vacation spots. Squall, Selphie, and Quistis were on one team, Rinoa, Irvine, and Zell were on the other. All of them made a great splashy ruckus on the secluded beach behind Edea's orphanage, participating in a parting game in the shallow water.

Squall's team was losing terribly. Apparently, Rinoa was a better team leader than Squall was, as their plan of attack completely broke down Squall's defenses. Squall, Selphie, and Quistis were sucking down a ton of water.

"Squall!" Selphie yelled, "I told you I should've been captain!"

"I could've beat them without you too nin-com-poops!" Quistis growled, taking a splash in the face.

"So maybe the 'cover me' idea wasn't great! That doesn't mean you two would've been better captains!"

"Squall!" Selphie coughed out in between splashes, "we're defecting!"

Suddenly, it was everyone against Squall. Had this been at an earlier point in his life, he would've felt betrayed. Now, the feeling was just a minute ache in his heart.

"Alright, now that we've got more manpower, let's take him out!" Rinoa laughed, sending forth her troops. For a minute, she thought she caught a look of fear on Squall's face.

"Oh Hyne!" Squall dove underwater and swam as fast as he could away from the assault, with a plan in mind.

"Is that legal?" Zell asked, looking perplexed.

"It is now, I suppose," Irvine replied.

"Where'd he go?" asked Selphie, eager to get him back for being such a poor captain.

"Be on your guard, everyone…" Quistis murmured, ever the protective big sister.

Then, Squall surfaced quite near Rinoa. "Divide and conquer!" he yelled, "Take out the boss to disband the boobs!" Then, with a mischievous grin, he tackled Rinoa and dragged her underwater. She was laughing as she came down and ended up swallowing a lot of water, not struggling for she knew she was beat, but because she needed to breathe.

Squall noticed almost immediately, and pulled her back up to the surface, scared and holding her tight. He slapped her back to get her lungs working, and she coughed up some of the water. For a moment, they stood together, Rinoa caught in Squall's embrace, while the others were oblivious, laughing without them, finishing the game that had turned into a free-for-all. Rinoa's breath was ragged but strong, and when Squall realized this, he held her out at arms length, shaking her a little and looking her straight in the eye.

His eyes cried, _'Oh my god, I'm so sorry Rin…'_ She saw the sadness and the fright and little bit of something else in his eyes. Anger at himself, deep and buried underneath his more pressing emotions. _'Please, are you alright? Please be alright. Please…'_

Nodding to him, she mouthed out, "its okay," unable to speak with her breathing still labored. Her own eyes communicated comfort to Squall.

_'I never meant to hurt you… I've hurt you so much as it is… I'll never hurt you again…'_ He said it without words. His eyes were dark and the depths cried though he did not, a talent he developed growing up. Rinoa felt his pain and sank to her knees, bringing Squall with her. He held her close, hoping to comfort her with his contact. Then she looked into his eyes, willing him with hers not to worry, not to be scared, not to feel responsible… it wasn't his fault. With a damp hand she caressed his face and brushed the clumped hair from his eyes, wanting to see them clearly, and communicate with him clearly. He was full of remorse, but he seemed to understand her message, searching her eyes and looking confused, his emotions warring. "Rinoa…" he whispered.

"Close your eyes," she said. He hesitated, but did as she commanded, her loyal knight always, as she held his cheek in her hand. Inching up, she kissed him, banishing his fears; he answered her kiss completely, falling into her comfort. They were gentle and slow, learning each other and sharing their emotions through the intimate action. It was much like the kiss they shared on the balcony at Garden; sweet, kind, true.

Squall and Rinoa were in their own world again, blissfully oblivious. A tear had fallen from his eye, barely noticeable due to his already damp face. All his hurt and pain, all his grief and loneliness were represented in his escaping tear. She made him free. It was a symbol… no more holding back. With hope, the release would continue.

It felt like hours, but it was only seconds that the couple was away. Quistis was the first to notice that Squall and Rinoa hadn't resurfaced, and when she turned to look out for them, the sight she beheld - Squall in the water holding Rinoa as if she were hurt - made her jump in fear. "Oh my god, are you two alright?!"

Her outcry succeeded in calling the others' attention, and when they rushed to the rescue, what they found was unexpected.

"OH MY GOD!" Zell cried out.

"THEY'RE MAKING OUT!" Selphie screamed.

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"POP! Fizz…" Irvine poured the just-opened bottle of champagne for each of his friends, celebrating the end of a wonderful day. All six were together, relaxing behind the old orphanage building, overlooking the glimmering ocean and afternoon sun.

"I'm glad we got to chill today," Zell said as he approached Squall, handing him a champagne glass and then sitting next to him, a little ways away from the group.

"Yeah." After the incident, Squall's mood went from playful back to normal. Again he was quiet, contemplative, and serious.

Zell was a stark difference, with a wide grin on his face. "So, wussup with you, huh?" Zell's grin grew wider as he elbowed Squall in the arm. "You know what I'm talking about!"

"Nothing is up," Squall answered nonchalantly.

"Fine, have it your way," Zell replied, "but here's a little friendly advice… chicks dig the car." And with that, he gave Squall a big grin and slap on the back, and strolled back to the main group, leaving Squall utterly confused.

"I don't have a car, Zell," he said, but Zell couldn't hear him. Quietly, he got up and headed for the wildflower field, to say goodbye. No one noticed him go.

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Soon, everyone was about finished with their champagne and getting ready to leave. Well, almost everyone.

"Hey Zell, where's Squall?" inquired Rinoa, as she glanced around for him. _'Nowhere in sight,' she_ thought. Suddenly, the rest of the group realized he was absent.

"Uh, Zell, I thought he was with you!" Selphie chirped.

"I left him right there!" Zell answered, defensively. He leaped over to the spot where he had his first "man-to-man" talk with Squall (_'a real milestone!' _he thought) and began inspecting it thoroughly, poking his head around boulders and picking up rocks, calling out, "Squally-Wally!"

All present sweat-dropped.

"Zell, hon, I don't think he's there anymore," Rinoa giggled.

"I was just making sure!" he said, jumping up and smiling.

Then it dawned on Rinoa. "I've got an idea where he went. You guys get everything on the Ragnarok, and we'll meet you there," she assured the rest of the group.

"C'mon Zell. If Seifer were here, he would've called you 'chicken wuss' about a hundred times by now, ya know that?" Irvine cracked, while picking up some of their junk.

"HEY!" Zell yelled, grabbing stuff then following after Irvine, making a commotion. It seemed Zell was always yelling. ()

Selphie followed, shouldering a few bags and taking the role of mediator. "Now boys, no fighting!"

Quistis lingered a moment, quietly laughing with Rinoa. Then she winked at her, knowingly. "Take your time," she smiled, and then, taking responsibility for the rest of their beach/picnic junk, she followed after Irvine, Zell, and Selphie, leaving Rinoa with a bright blush on her face.

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Squall was sitting low in the cool grass, still sipping at the champagne glass he held in his hand. He swirled it, and took another sip, unmindful of the time that had passed. He had been gone a while now.

He heard footsteps coming towards him, and then sighed. _'Goodbye, calm moment.'_ They sounded closer with each passing second. _'Goodbye, my field of flowers.' _The footsteps were upon him. It was time to go. _'Goodbye, wonderful day.'_

Rinoa plopped down beside him just as he finished his goodbyes, making the still green grass rustle with her movements. But he simply kept his gaze star ward, defiant, not wanting to let go of something he needed so much…

"Squall…" she began, speaking slowly and in a whisper-soft voice, barely loud enough for him to hear. "It's been… a nice day, hasn't it?" she finished.

"Yes. It has," he whispered back.

She sat with him for a while. She sensed the change in mood, knew that his heart was heavy. Her own heart felt heavy… the connection they shared was so strong. She reached for his hand and held it, showing him that she was there. She was real.

He didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if he had never been close to her before, but it felt so much different… After today when he had nearly drowned her, she was still so kind. After such a beautiful day, after even he had joined the fun, after everything… he was starting to understand the feeling he had with these people, his companions and friends. Why was "friend" such a difficult word to place in Squall's life? The feelings he had today were ones that he needed for a long time… better late than never, sure, but it's tough to teach an old dog new tricks. He was struggling.

"I'm… sorry," he managed to Rinoa. His hung his head and his bangs fell into his eyes. When it came to the stars, he was in his element; when it came to people, he was still somewhat lost.

She squeezed his hand. "We were having fun. Those things happen, all the time."

He was silent. Who in the world really knows where to go after this? There wasn't much left to say.

"Trust me."

Two words. 'Trust me.' He gave her a look, finding a plea in her eyes, and then looked up again at what he knew. The sky was familiar to him; he went to it every lonely night past, and found a home. Now that all was said and done, would he find a new place? He stood up slowly, helping Rinoa to stand as well.

"Everyone?" Squall questioned Rinoa softly.

"Waiting," she answered, mimicking his style.

He nodded, and started walking.

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Too soon their time together as family was over… Squall piloted on the uneventful way back, as he deposited everyone all over the world for their week apart. Then he returned to Garden, alone, with the empty feeling he had now. _'Maybe I just miss everyone…'_

Garden was quiet for once, perhaps too quiet, with all but one of its resident heroes absent. Squall stood silently in a solitary place, looking pensive. He was on his own for a week, all alone… he knew in his heart that his friends would return, but something inside him screamed the opposite; they had left him alone again. Squall breathed deeply, and shook off the thought. They are coming back, he assured himself, but it was still hard for him to let go of the past, and his pain. 'Gotta keep busy,' he determined, not wanting to think anymore. With a farewell glance at the rising sun on the sea-line off Balamb coast, he turned and left the secluded spot he had chosen that morning; the balcony of Garden's ballroom.

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to come: Squall's week alone. Will it be as solitary as he expects? Rinoa looks back on what's passed, and then looks into the future. What does she think about all this? It's love, love, love and the fun vacations of our beloved FFVIII crew, coming up in the next installment of **The Kiss**;_ reflections_.

a/n: I did a lot of revision… I think I know now really where I'm taking this… sorry I write slowly, but life is a whirlwind! I write whenever I can find my computer underneath the barns and cows… hehe. Thanks for reading, please tell me what you think! My love to all, take care. -elsie


	3. reflections

Disclaimer: I love ffviii… this is for everyone like me. Though we all wish it, none of us own what we've spent hours writing about. Hope you like my story.

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**  
  
The Kiss**_  
reflections  
  
_

"Squall, please report to your office. Squall, to your office, thank you," Nida's voice boomed over the Garden intercom.

Squall was just on his way back from the balcony, and he looked up as people tend to do while the announcement was made. _'Well, at least fate seems to agree with my plans for this week,'_ he mused to himself.

And oh how fate DID agree – somehow, someway, even though there was a general peace in all the lands, there was still much business for Squall to handle while he was acting headmaster. He would have been surprised, but was too busy to think most of the day, and that suited him just fine. Balamb's sewers were in need of repair and in some places were infested with fiends, so Squall sent a small force of SeeDs to assist the Balamb police. Dollet needed aid in reorganizing their government and territories, as there was still some dispute between Galbadia and itself – more SeeDs were dispatched. Timber was clearing the very last remnants of anything Galbadian and preparing for its liberation celebration – a few SeeDs were sent to help handle things, and all SeeDs were invited to the big party. Galbadia was reforming, and SeeDs were sent for 3rd party input and mediation purposes. Squall sent many SeeDs and even some students to rebuild Trabia. A friendly inter-Garden tournament was being held at Galbadia Garden in the next coming weeks and needed to be prepared. Even Laguna had some SeeDs in his part of the world – mostly scholars, researchers, and engineers, to learn what they could from Esthar and bring it home to Garden. Squall was a busy man, overseeing, decision-making, problem-solving. And now that Garden was even MORE famous and MORE respected, MORE people turned to Garden and its heroes for help. The world was changing around him; perhaps in some ways, Squall might change along with it.

The days passed quickly – each day Squall rose early, with the sunrise, and watched it from his balcony, then worked until late in the evenings, when he finally quit for the day, went to his room and slept. The grueling schedule began again the next morning. It almost became a blur to him - 'approve the budgets,' 'approve the scheduling,' 'tell Mr. So-and-so I'll call him back,' – a lot of the same dealings, over and over daily. He did not complain however, for Squall is one of the most responsible and strong men. All obstacles that ever faced him in the past he dealt with, even those that were not solely his own - like the trials of his fantastic journey with his five friends in their fight against Ultimecia. So it was not very surprising to see him, like a machine, working tirelessly and without pause, sometimes forgetting to eat. (The real reason for that, however, was because he didn't feel very hungry.)

At night when he retired from the day's struggles and went to his quarters to rest, he actually rested little - which is why he always got up so early. Feeling listless, he moved about, paced his room before falling into bed, tossing and turning before falling into sleep. As the days passed, he slept less, and became sidetracked more often while he worked. His normal thoughts plagued him, the time plagued him. How did everyone else stand being away? He was already growing thin from eating so little. How was Rinoa spending her days? Was she happy? Was she smiling? Smiling for who? At who? With who? Did she think of him? Did she sleep and eat?

He growled. Well, I don't. And with that, he fell into the 5th night of turbulent sleep.

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"Whee!!" Selphie yelped, swinging high into the crisp, cold air at Trabia Garden. The playground was finished; the ground, leveled and newly tarred; the basketball courts gleamed with shiny backboards and fresh white-painted lines; soft rubber mats rested underneath the jungle gym and swing set; and Selphie christened the new place with her butt in a swing, happily swaying her day away.

Progress at Trabia was coming along nicely, with many thanks to the wonderful Trabia Garden students, as well as all of the help Squall sent from Balamb Garden. 'Squall's such a great guy!' Selphie smiled to herself on the middle swing, truly content to be in her first home as it returned to its former glory. Her vacation nearly spent, she was glad nonetheless that she spent it all here at Trabia, with her old friends and a few of her new ones. She would of course be glad to return to her home away from home, but nothing was like Trabia to her – gorgeous mountainscapes, pure white but shined blue in the sun, with dark green forests all around, the frigid air that to her was just perfect – cold, but her skin radiated warmth through it, and she felt so alive. The air was different too, hard to the visitors and travelers, but so fresh and invigorating for her. Yes, Trabia would always be her home. But she was home too, with the five wonderful friends she made in the months they spent together, fighting for the common good.

She smiled. _'Everyone thinks I'm a hero!'_ she mused to herself, for the hundredth time since she had come home. It humbled her, more than anything else, but she was happy to inspire so many.

Then all of a sudden her swinging came to an abrupt stop, shaking her out of her thoughts. She would've fallen off her seat had she not been holding the chains of the swing and a coat covered arm not shot around her to steady her. She turned around, ready to give whoever halted her happy swing action a piece of her perky mind (and nuchuku) but saw Irvine and Quistis and was instantly happy again.

"Irvy!" She flung her arms around him, immediately forgiving him for stopping her swing. Then she got up and ran to Quistis, giving her a big hug as well. "Quisty!"

Quistis smiled at her, now not at all fazed by Selphie's constant cheerfulness, conditioned to it already. "Ready to go?" Their week was over – it was Monday again, and they were due in at Garden that afternoon.

Selphie smiled back. "Yeah. Lemme just say good bye!"

Irvine, who found his way to Trabia on the second day of his vacation, joined in on the happy smiling parade. "We'll come."

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"Mom, next time I'm here, I'll have that hot dog recipe, alright?" Zell told his Ma in the anteroom of his home. The tone of his voice said that though he was ready to go, he always wanted to be with her and would always be watching over her.

"Zell, you keep on raving about those hot dogs, I'll be raving your butt right out of my house for good! I cook food too, you know, not just that cafeteria of yours at that Garden!" Ma Dincht threatened, a laugh in her voice.

"Yes Ma, yes Ma!" he saluted, then bent down to kiss her cheek, and out the door he went, on his way back to Garden on Monday afternoon.

------------------------------

Rinoa's week went by both quickly and slowly – she did many things, but at an easy pace, something she valued strongly in her life. Things don't need to be rushed – they can go as slow as need be, can take as much time as need be. Rushing in takes away from things, makes it harder to savor the time and the joys of life. Life in general is so fast paced; we miss out on so much because we run right past it all. So Rinoa was content to take her week slowly.

She spent her days with her old Timber resistance crew, and her evenings and some afternoons with President Caraway (newly appointed, after Ultimecia's fall), ever so slowly working things out between them and building things up. Watts and Zone, wonderful planners but poor doers, planned their way straight to Galbadia and final negotiations to free Timber. Rinoa put their strategies into motion, acting as a speaker and representative of Timber before her father the new president and his council. At night she had nice dinners with him and often guests of the house, important international officials, outstanding members of Galbadia's army, even the kind woman who lived next door. Rinoa had big plans for her – _'Gotta set her up with the General!'_ she plotted, making a mental note to ask Watts and Zone for game plan help. She was glad that she had had no big fights with the General (she was slowly trying to phase back to 'dad') that week and was content enough to be in his home.

At night, she would sleep deeply, happily, feeling very complete – '_Timber is free, the world is free, I am free.'_ Knowing that she would return to Garden and her friends made her look forward to the end of the week, and she was most happy. She thought of them often, wondering if they thought of each other, knowing in her heart they did. _'Just because we are not in each other's lives everyday, doesn't mean we're not in each other's hearts, everyday.' _She thought often of Squall, seeing him in things all around her; Galbadia's hotel where they stayed a few nights all that time ago; in Galbadia's shops clothes and items reminded her of him; even in Caraway's home, she could almost see him, arguing with her again on the front porch, promising not to leave her.

_'Squall… you most of all, I miss. You most of all, are in my heart.'_

She was filled with faith, and hope. Patience, too, which she knew would be most necessary in her future, especially concerning Squall. She laughed to herself at this. She thought back to Monday, to their time together; to his lips, to his eyes, his feelings that she knew without his saying, to his uncertainty, and then to her surprise, her own uncertainty. Over the nights she spent in her father's home, she scrutinized every minute of that day. Her thoughts lingered over their briefest contact, every second they held hands or locked eyes, every moment that they kissed. _'Wow, what kisses.'_ She blushed, thinking of him. But when she turned her mind's eye from memory and looked into the next days, she couldn't see. For sure, she would be going home to him soon enough, and the distance did make her heart grow fonder. For sure, she would see her friends again, her five greatest friends. For sure, Squall would be in her life. But nothing else. _ 'We make the future. So far, we've made it wonderful for the world. Maybe now its time to make things wonderful for us.'_ And on this thought, she fell asleep her 5th night.

Negotiations with Galbadia over Timber finished timely, a day before she was due back at Garden, and so she had a free day.

"Wonder what I'll do…" Rinoa said to herself, smiling.

------------------------------

By the morning of the 6th day of his self-imposed solitary confinement, Squall felt like he was going nuts. For some strange reason there was NO work piled up on the headmaster desk in the headmaster office, he had slept the night before even less than in the nights previous, his mind was tired and must've been playing tricks on him (all morning he kept thinking he was seeing everyone EVERYWHERE and hearing their voices around Garden), and most of all, his heart ached. It was 9am, four hours after he had awoken, and for the millionth time in those four hours his thoughts turned to Rinoa. _'This disease of mine is getting worse,'_ he growled, scowling into the scarred brown oak of his desktop. He could smell her everywhere, every pot of flowers in all of Garden reminded him of her, as he walked around Garden all the backs of heads with long raven hair were almost hers and he was driving himself insane. He tried to be calm, tried to look back to Monday and be content with his memories for one more day, but he was tired and out of patience. He didn't want to look back; he didn't want to see again how he hurt her that day, how that day, though it was wonderful, he was so confused. He only wanted to see her face, to really see it and not imagine it. With his weariness and antsy-ness driving him to distraction, he left his office to pace the grounds for the hundredth time that morning, a broody look on his face.

------------------------------

On the train, she smiled to herself. _'Can't wait to see everyone again!'_ She was smiling the whole trip home, sitting in the Garden's private car with the latest dog magazine.

------------------------------

"Whee!!" Selphie yelped from the back of her chocobo. "This is the only way to travel!"

At the flying pace that the happy chocobos set for themselves, it was almost as if they were speeding around in the Ragnarok, probably even better, for their proximity to the ground and the relatively small size of their 'vehicles' made the rush so much more intense. From the back of her chocobo, Quistis was also in her element, her adventurous heart shining in the wicked skill she showed at riding. She laughed and screamed along with Selphie, thoroughly enjoying this method home.

Irvine looked green atop his golden chocobo, the most docile and easy of their chocobo trio, no less. "Ugh… I know its fast, but HYNE, couldn't we have taken a train?!" His stomach lurched and he fought back the bile in his throat.

The girls only laughed at him. "Oh Irvy, we're almost home for Hyne's sake!" Selphie teased.

"C'mon Irvine, we'll race you! Last to Garden's stables is a rotten egg!" and with that, Quistis shot off ahead of both Selphie and Irvine.

"Hey, no fair! You got a head start!" Selphie took off after her.

For a cowboy, Irvine wasn't playing his part out as expected, and the girls laughed at this as they sped away. Irvine's chocobo, however, didn't want to be left out of the fun, and so ran after its two friends. And as his 'ship' sailed away and dragged him along, Irvine succeeded in 'puking over the side-rails,' so to speak.

------------------------------

Squall couldn't take it. He told Nida and Xu he was leaving Garden for the day on business, and without a word more, strode out Garden's gates, straight to the train station.

Once there, he quickly purchased a ticket and was on his way.

------------------------------

"Home at last!" Rinoa said, stepping off her train. It wasn't a terribly long ride, but nonetheless she could barely sit through it – so strong was her desire to be home.

_flashback_

"Watts, Zone, I'm going home early." She smiled at them as they smiled at her, knowingly.

"If you need help planning, you know…" Zone said, hinting to her that he and Watts would love to help, as well as teasing her.

She laughed. "Don't worry, I know. Now, if you need anything else, don't hesitate to call Garden! We're still the Timber Owls!"

Watts and Zone let up a cheer. "Yeah! To Timber's freedom!" The two of them raised their fists in the air.

"We couldn't have done it without you, Princess." Watts was bashful as he murmured the endearment.

"Aww, guys, you're so good to me. If you ever get lonely, come to Garden. Squall and the others will welcome you with me." With that, she hugged them and said her goodbyes, and headed to her father's to say goodbye to him.

------------------------------

She went into his office, unannounced; he had guests but she thought, 'what the heck, I am his daughter after all,' and went in anyways. I've got to have SOME importance. She smiled and greeted him.

"Hey, General." She walked right around his desk and hugged him lightly. "I'm going home a day early. Thank you for letting me stay for the week and for the good time I had. If there is any more we need to discuss about Timber, call the Garden. Sorry for interrupting. I'll see you, okay?"

Caraway was surprised by her contact. He held her hand and looked into her face when he nodded. "I'll see that your hard work in this negotiating business is not wasted. Trust that I will take care of it, and there is no more you need to trouble yourself over." She arched an eyebrow at him for his words. He knew that he was being overbearing again, and in her eyes he saw her dislike for his word choice and tone. But he was her father, after all. "Ah," he cleared his throat, then mumbled out, "I'm proud of what you've done in these days for Timber."

Rinoa double-taked, and was speechless. Her mouth hung open.

He coughed again. _'Doesn't the girl see I have guests?' _He tried not to show his embarrassment, over his admission as well as his daughters behavior. He was gruff as he said, "come visit me again, daughter."

After a minute, she caught her jaw and smiled. She understood his meaning. "I will, dad."

------------------------------

An hour later she was on her train, headed for Garden a day before everyone was expected.

_end flashback_

She caught a ride from Balamb station back to Garden with a few students who had gone to Balamb for the weekend, her mind set on seeing Squall.

When Rinoa got in, however, he was nowhere to be found. She checked his room, their balcony, the library, the training center, Dr. Kadowaki's, the Cafeteria, the basement even. She checked his office, but found it empty. She nearly pulled out her hair over the trouble she went to, running around Garden and turning it upside down in her search for him. Her heart… his heart… they were calling each other. When she asked some students, none knew, and when she prompted Nida and Xu, all they knew was that he had left in a rush, on 'business.' She was sorely disappointed by the afternoon, when all her searching was done, and she went to her room and nearly cried as she lay, sulking on her bed.

------------------------------

Squall came back from his business in the early evening that same day, looking even worse than that morning, surprised himself that the feat was possible. He caught his reflection in a window pane as he entered Garden – he really did look like hell.

_flashback_

Squall stepped off his train in Galbadia station, his mind set on one thing and one thing only – seeing Rinoa. He would spend the rest of his day with her. He'd say that he was sorry he didn't call. He'd let her talk to him and calm him with her voice, her presence. Everything would be right in the world again. His weariness would go away. His heart called for her.

He turned the city upside down in his search for her. Not at the hotel as he'd expected, not in any clothing store or other shop, not even at the pet store. He couldn't even find her dog for Hyne's sake, when he took to the idea that the dog would undoubtedly lead to its mistress. She wasn't even in the General's home – a maid informed him that she had left, earlier that day, without stating a destination to the house staff. At this revelation, his heart fell. _'Where are you, Rinoa?'_ At the last possible minute he ran into Zone and Watts in town. Unmindful of his actions, he lifted them both up by their collars and quickly prompted them for Rinoa's location. Scared witless, the duo managed to stutter out 'home' and they were instantly dropped and Squall instantly left, bulldozing his way through the city, its people, its buildings… heading back to the train station and growling at his piss poor luck.

Hyne knows how he managed it, but within fifteen minutes Squall was on a train heading back for Garden.

_end flashback_

He grumbled again, for what seemed like the BILLIONTH time that day – funny, he didn't grumble at his work, didn't grumble at killing monsters, didn't grumble at Zell's obsession for hot dogs, but he grumbled over Rinoa (or something the ultimately led up to her) about a billion times in that one day. He scowled fiercely. _'Now to turn Garden upside down…'_

His hunger got the best of him, however. Running around all day forced his stomach into growling even louder than its master. In the previous days, all Squall had done was sit at his desk and travel the grounds occasionally, so he could do with not eating much. But today he had paced up and down Garden, been back and forth on (what he felt like were) TWO of the longest train rides ever, turned all of Galbadia inside out searching for his Rinoa, and now he was here, devoid of energy and about to strip search a whole other place. He growled back at his stomach angrily, not wanting to stop, but he let it win and detoured to the cafeteria.

------------------------------

Rinoa got up. She didn't feel like it, but unlike Squall she HAD been eating normally and now her stomach was crying for nourishment, after all the running around she did. She could do nothing but comply with its wishes – girls do get hungry, you know.

------------------------------

Squall sat down with some quick food, eager to resume his search for her. Something told him that Rinoa was here, close by too, so he worried less and relaxed as much as he could in his present state, tired and anxious. He scarfed the two hot dogs he got from the cafeteria ladies (who liked him and always saved him a few) in Zell's trademark style – nearly whole. That's right, nearly whole, not in bite sized pieces. He finished the second quickly after the first, and as he downed them both with ice water, he saw Rinoa step into Garden's cafeteria.

------------------------------

Ugh, was she hungry! Not at all in a dainty, girlish way either. Rinoa moved to the end of the dinner line, wishing that she was first.

He was tired, and again, barely mindful of his actions. He stood quickly, almost choking due to the suddenness of his movements, and forced down his food, pounding on his chest and gulping. He moved toward Rinoa, who was quickly moving up in line. He reached her when she was 4th or 5th, and quickly grabbed her arm and dragged her off towards his table at the back corner of the cafeteria. She tugged back hard and growled out loudly, "HEY!" thinking vile thoughts of murder and turning to see her abductor.

Squall almost jumped when he saw the strange red glow she was giving off and caught a glimpse of raging fire in her eyes. _'That was almost exorcist material…'_

He let her turn hotly into his arms and she did, her face running right into his chest. "OWWW!" she growled. "HEY BUSTER IF YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY JUST WAIT TILL I…"

Her angry tirade was cut short when he hugged her tightly to him and leaned down to kiss her.

Rinoa was shocked into submission. _'Sooooo caught by surprise right there,'_ forgetting her anger as she thought it, brainlessly… actually her brain and her whole body were swiftly turning into a puddle. After the initial shock, she realized who had abducted her – strong arms and tough chest, his smell and his lips, the gentle way he kissed. Her arms snaked around him to return his hug and she kissed him back eagerly, their kiss a conversation; she heard him tell her how desperately he missed her, and she said ditto, with a smirk.

He stopped a minute later, and she lolled back in his arms, her mood instantly changed and lightened; she was ecstatic to be in his embrace, laughing and knowing that he wouldn't let her fall. She was happy. He let her play the rag doll/puddle, and it made him smile. He knew she was happy to see him. It made him happy. Already his face looked less tired, and his eyes alive again. Though everything was so new to him, he knew to do as his heart told him. His heart was happiest, seeing her.

She pulled herself up, putting her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder, sighing happily.

"I had to shut you up," he said, in his normal flat tone, but slightly breathless.

She grinned ear to ear at hearing his affected voice, giving a little laugh. '_Yep, he digs me.'_ But for good measure, she punched him in the chest.

He somehow knew to pretend to be hurt. He smiled a little and put a hand over his heart in mock pain where she had hit him.

"You didn't call," she murmured, teasing.

He hugged her tight to say he was sorry.

------------------------------

They sat and had dinner then, Squall going back to brave the line and pilfer three hot dogs for Rinoa, all of which she ate, to his surprise. They talked, Squall quietly and not so much but concisely, Rinoa with a content note in her voice and many descriptions and tangents.

------------------------------

"We're home!!" Selphie announced to all of Garden as her traveling trio entered the front hall the next day. She shared a happy laugh with Quistis. They were happy to be home.

Oh, and by the way, Quistis, a marvelous rider, won the race home with Selphie in a close second, and Irvine was by default the rotten egg – so rotten that it promptly heaved up its insides as soon as the ride was over.

Zell stepped into Garden and saw his friends almost immediately. He grinned, and quickly pulled out the booty that he had brought from home. Selphie, Quistis, and a slightly green Irvine turned to greet him as Zell said, "Gifts from the sea guys! Check out these fish!" Zell held up his catch, proudly. "We'll have 'em for dinner, alright?"

Rinoa and Squall walked in on the commotion. Squall stifled a smile, recognizing the fish.

He almost laughed when the others began to recognize it as well.

"ZELL! NOT THAT FISH!" they resounded in unison, and as Zell argued for his fish and the others against it, Squall smiled, holding Rinoa's hand, his heart content.

------------------------------

Everyone was finally home now, and it seemed, for whatever reason, the happiness in his heart had returned home as well.

* * *

  
to come: Everyone's home! But now what do they do? The gang may have won the fight against Ultimecia, but they've still got some big fights left – how about maturity, life, and love? As for Squall and Rinoa, they both know in their hearts that there's a lot between them – but do they really know they know? That is, does Rinoa know Squall knows, and vice versa? Declarations will be made, but it might not be love yet… stay tuned! **The Kiss**; _emotions_ is coming!

a/n: I'm back again… haha! Review for me so I can keep up my drive to write this to conclusion! Love to all - elsie


	4. emotions

Disclaimer: I love ffviii... this is for everyone like me. Though we all wish it, none of us own what we've spent hours writing about. Hope you like my story.

* * *

**  
The Kiss**  
_emotions_

"Mayor, I assure you, Balamb Garden's SeeD are the most reliable soldiers you can find. They will perform their duties flawlessly."

Visible through the floor to ceiling windows in Squall's office, another spectacular Balamb sunset was coming to its end. The office echoed with his speech, being so spacious – complete with high, vaulted ceilings – yet so empty, but for the large oak desk and a few chairs arranged about the room. He paced behind the desk, dragging his shoes on the fancy patterned carpet, fingers pinched tightly to the bridge of his nose. His shaggy hair fell over his face messily; his tie was tossed in a corner of the room hours ago; the top buttons of his dress shirt were undone, the sleeves rolled up, and the tails un-tucked; and a heavy sigh was threatening to heave itself from his chest. _'Another long day.'_

"Yes, I can assure you. Please, Mayor, set your mind at ease. The orders have already been issued."

The business jargon and tone were still strange to him. It was almost like learning a foreign language by immersion – every day he was submerged into something so different, so... difficult. His language of choice usually involved little speaking, and often, lots of gunblade. Sometimes his weapon of choice might be different, but through and through, he was a soldier. What else did he know?

"Yes, Mayor. Expect them in town tomorrow."

This was getting exasperating. _'How many times do I have to tell this guy??'_

"Yes."

_'YES FOR HYNE'S SAKE!'_

"Alright."

_'Finally, this is ridiculous!'_

"You as well, Mayor." Squall hung up the receiver quickly, not wanting to be caught by any shades of doubts again that may force him to struggle on the phone for even a moment longer. He collapsed into his desk chair, head hanging with his hand still targeting the pressure points in his forehead, an attempt to relieve some of a stress/speech-induced headache.

He barely had a minute before his secretary buzzed in. "Sir, another call for you from Dollet, line 2."

He growled. He turned over the wrist of his free hand and glanced hopefully at his watch. _'Well past seven. I'm supposed to leave at 5... How do I always end up spending all my time here?' _ He hit a little red button on his phone base. As kindly as he could, he managed to say, "Miss M.? Tell them I just left for the day. Urgent or not, I need a break. Thanks for staying late, again."

Another buzzing noise, and then a simple but very sympathetic sounding "yes sir. You're welcome."

Then, he sunk back into his chair again, and finally let go of the big sigh he'd been holding back.

"Ahem." He heard the cough, soft but suggestive and emanating from one of the lounge chairs before his desk.

_'I left. I left. I left,'_ he grumbled inwardly. _'Alright, pull it together... one last thing and then you're home free...'_ Squall raised his head slowly, composing himself and masking his frustrations from the day behind his general, stoic expression. He couldn't keep it for long though – immediately he recognized his guest, and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow slightly, questioningly. "How long have you been there, and who let you in."

Rinoa smiled at his flat toned question, which was really more of a command to reply than a question sincerely entreating an answer. But to her, it was endearing rather than offending. _'He looks so disheveled and out of place!'_ she mused. This was the first time any of his five friends had seen him at work, and it was obvious to her that he really did work like a horse. Getting an appointment with him was harder than a behemoth's horn, it seemed! But she was clever... she had connections. "Miss M. pulled some strings and let me sneak past the guards at the gates, then I hacked some security codes to get in the building, blew up the vault safe door to your outer office, and finally copied your fingerprints that I stole from a coke can weeks ago onto a prosthetic hand and used it to gain access to your secret lair. Squall Leonhart, you are by far the most difficult man to get to during the day, although not for some, it seems... cough, Dollet Mayor Andrews, cough." She was laughing as she said it all, teasing him as only she could get away with unharmed.

Not taking her bait, he only grumbled a little in reply to her barbs. She only laughed harder. When she finally started to contain herself, he asked, "so really, how."

"I'm your 6:30 today. Galbadia's Deling emissary? A Mr. R. Hurst? How do you do." She held out a hand to shake, in mock introduction.

_'Ah, the truth comes out. How sneaky.'_ He ignored her hand, chiding, "you know, it's not wise to cry wendigo. And if you're my 6:30, that means you've been here for at least an hour."

"You should stop letting M. schedule you after five," she said with an understanding smile.

"People need Garden right now. I have to," he countered.

"Or maybe you're just being a nice guy? Wanting to help people as much as possible? Maybe it makes you feel good, inside?" She shot him an accusational look, a smile in her eyes.

He hmphed, grumpily.

She grinned back. "For a meanie, you're quite the softie. But anyway, I wasn't 'crying wendigo.' For your information, I do have business," she stated, matter-of-factly.

Squall was slightly shocked. Raising an eyebrow again, he said, "You do?"

"Mm hmm." Rinoa finally moved from the chair in front of his desk, standing and giving her limbs a good stretch. Then she stepped around his desk to his side of it, leaning back on it after moving in front of him. "Your health is my business. You're my business," she smirked, with a wink. "And also, I have some documents for you from the General. I figured using a fake name was the only way I'd get in here," she laughed.

Sighing, he looked up into her eyes and reached for her hand, which she offered up immediately. Holding it with a firm grip in her lap in front of him, he murmured, "I'm fine. And leave the papers on the desk. I'll deal with it Monday." Then, in a slightly different tone, "you've been in here for an hour and I haven't noticed?" He was ashamed for his inattentiveness.

"No, just a little while. When I snuck past M. and came in, you were pacing around, talking to the Mayor on the phone and sounding much more composed and understanding than you looked," she giggled. "I'm proud Squall; you didn't slice anything to pieces! But then, you don't have your gunblade in here, do you?"

"I have some fierce letter openers."

She let out a big laugh at his dry humor, her eyes going thin and showing laugh lines at the corners – marks of happiness, she preferred. He drank her in as she laughed for him, a small smile on his lips. Her raven hair pulled back into a messy bun and his desk lamp light catching her streaks just so; the mirth in her eyes, her lips, her cheeks, her face; the slender column of her neck, leading to her shoulders and collar and chest, where he knew his ring lay without needing to see. Her pale arms, perfect lines, and pretty hands that fit so well in his. Just her, Rinoa, in the blue blouse and black slacks that said business, but the smile in her eyes that said something else completely. He looked up to her eyes again, and his frustration headache from today was remedied, miraculously.

She looked to him, pleased to see him smiling up at her. "Come get dinner with me?"

"Of course. My sincerest apologies for being so late for our appointment," he said in his most formal tone of voice.

She laughed again. "This is hard for you, isn't it?"

_'More than you know...'_ He only nodded in reply, already heading towards the door with her in tow.

------------------------------

"Z... S... I. In position. Let's do this, guys." A moment of silence passed, like a calm before a storm.

Then, out of the blue - "You play too many video games, Selph."

Some snickering could be heard over the line.

"Hah! You're just jealous because you're too 'mature' to play," Selphie nyah-ed back at Quistis, who was stubbornly resisting her role in their escapade.

"Ksshhhk - I'm movin' in."

"Zell, there's no static noise with these things, and you know that's not in the plan!" Selphie was obviously having a hard time controlling her team...

"Hah, I know, I've just always wanted to say that!" Zell laughed back on their communicator line. "This is gonna be so awesome!"

"As long as where we're going will have you fine ladies, it doesn't matter what the plan is," Irvine said in his smoothest voice.

"And you watch that Rico Suave video too much, Irvine." Quistis couldn't help but groan and couldn't stop her hands from reaching up to massage her temples.

"Oh Quisty, just get into it already!" Selphie griped.

"Oh Hyne! Alright, alright!" Quistis threw her arms into the air and gave up. '_I can't believe I got talked into this...'_

"Ksshhhk – you sunk my battleship!"

"ZELL!"

------------------------------

"So, do you always look this nice at work?" Rinoa questioned of Squall's dress shirt and slacks, walking around the grounds after dinner with her hand tightly in his. In her humble opinion, Friday night was always the best time at Garden to simply spending time with someone you care about, and not worry about being disturbed – a big plus when it came to Squall's company. So, while a great majority of the student population was out on the town or home for the weekend, Rinoa and Squall took a quiet constitutional. "This is the first time I've seen you straight from work, and the first time since Monday I've seen you for more than one continuous hour!" she laughed out the last part.

He squeezed her hand, hoping she'd understand that he was sorry for not being able to see her. They kept walking, strolling slowly, with no particular place in mind. "No."

Rinoa had almost forgotten what she asked. "No what?"

"I don't wear this to work, usually. Only when I have appointments. Miss M. advised me to look more professional," he explained succinctly, per usual.

"Ah, I get it!" she smiled, understanding immediately. Then grinning, she teased, "well, a very reliable source tells me that Mr. R. Hurst is very impressed, and flattered that you would dress up for him!"

He gave her a little smile and squeezed her hand again.

"Really, you look good. I like it," she complimented quietly, a hint of rouge in her cheeks. Then, trying to laugh off her embarrassment nervously, she asked, "can I even say that? Do you mind?"

He looked down at her as they walked and smiled. Even smiling was still somewhat new to him, and he huffed a little at his ineptitude at this – it seemed to come to everyone else so easily... Rinoa's emotions came out so smooth. Did he even have the same ones in him? No time to ponder it now, however, for even he understood that there was an acceptable window of time in which one was expected to react to projected emotions – miss it, and you look like an ass.

"I'm not an ass." _'Oh Hyne, way to miss it, idiot! Not smooth, completely UN-smooth!'_

"What??" she laughed out, giving him a confused and shocked look.

_'You OBVIOUSLY think too much! And need to learn how to talk, DESPERATELY!'_ He growled at himself, mentally chanting _'idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot...'_ He had some s'plainin' to do... somehow, he finally managed to stammer out, slowly, "I'm not a... jerk. You can tell me. Anything. And no, I don't mind."

Rinoa just had a big grin on her face, trying her best to keep any more laughs inside, not wanting to embarrass him any further. She gave his arm a tug to signal a stop, and when he did, she moved to slip her arms around his waist. She felt his arms go around her automatically, and she liked it; liked that he was getting over his shyness, liked that he didn't hesitate so much with showing her the affection she so cherished. She looked up into his strong, albeit slightly flushed face. Then, with an almost sinister smile and in a low voice for only Squall to hear, she murmured, "well then, Mr. Leonhart... I have it on good authority that a Mr. R. Hurst thinks that you look VERY sexy today."

His eyes went wide and he swiftly turned his head away from her, though he couldn't hide the full on beet red blush on his cheeks. Rinoa burst out lauging, tossing her head back and filling the relatively empty Garden with the melody of her happy laughter. There was something else she was filling, too... another emptiness. Squall tightened his hold around her, embarrassed as hell but too pleased with her obvious pleasure to let her go.

He knew that he could never, ever let her go again. Not like before.

"Thank you," he whispered to the night. "Thank you."

------------------------------

"Targets spotted on South campus. Now's the time to move, Selph," Quistis whispered into her communicator, from her hiding place in the bushes near Garden's front gate.

Selphie's reply came in clear on the communicator – "We're moving. Meet you at the rendezvous point. Selph out."

Waiting for a safe moment to ditch her surveillance spot for the last half hour, Quistis tried valiantly to convince herself not to regret getting involved for the hundredth time. _'How did I agree to this kak-a-mamie plan in the first place?'_ she grumbled, picking leaves and burrs from her clothes in a pout. _'This better work...'_ Quistis could only hope for the best out of Selphie's convoluted plan. She sighed heavily, but thought, '_well, at least this part of it seems to be falling into place alright...'_

------------------------------

Their quiet stroll around Garden finally led them back to where this chapter in their lives really began – their balcony. She stood, her arms crossed and resting on the railing, her body leaning forward for support, and he stood, his arms wrapped around her, supporting her from behind. The whipping wind couldn't touch the warmth they shared, or the far away place their minds drifted to, this silent moment. He tried to memorize her in every way; from her scent, her heart beat, and the rhythm of her breath, to the shape of her, her presence, and her spirit.

She changed his life. She put this ache in his chest, good dreams in his sleep and the drive to live out his waking hours. It was she who found him after Ultimecia and put life back in his body. She was everything. She was still changing his life. And he thought that maybe, if he knew her, learned and memorized everything about her, he would find his answers. In his life ruled by order and logic, he desperately sought the clear answers, the reasons and rationalizations. How did it happen? How could this be? She changed his life, she was everything; she had to be the answer. She had to be it.

He inhaled deeply and exhaled in a loud sigh, catching her attention. She turned then in his arms to face him, slipping her arms around his waist and looking up into his face. "What's wrong?" she whispered, concern in her eyes.

He shook his head, wanting to quell her worry. "Just thinking."

"Tell me what about?" she asked, hoping to be let in.

He held her a little tighter, took another deep breath, and thought about an answer. '_How do I say everything to her? Am I capable... is it alright? She'll understand... right?' _He was scared to use too many words with meanings he wasn't completely confident in. In a way he was almost fearful of the meanings – was he ready to know them? Was he ready to learn them? He sighed again, frustrated with himself. "I'm not good at this..." he murmured into her hair.

She held on to him tightly, hoping he'd feel safer with her there, safe enough to take chances in her embrace. "Try," she pushed, gently. "I'm not an ass, either."

He smiled a little, and felt her smiling into his chest. They held each other there for long moments, getting ready for their next baby step.

He reached to take hold of one of her hands, bringing it between them. He held it, then pressed it to his heart, willing her to understand.

He was quiet for a while… and then – "Can… can I… can I ask you something?"

------------------------------

"You guys… we can't keep doing this, you know," Irvine mumbled, conspiratorily.

"Who's gonna find out? No one will ever know… and we're not hurting anybody!"

"Selph, I never pegged you as a troublemaker!" Zell laughed, flashing her a thumbs up.

"…How many times exactly have you guys done this?" Quistis questioned, half-way shocked.

"Every night this week. And the way things are going, it'll be every night following until a) we get bored, or b) we get caught!"

"Selph…" Quistis trailed off, her voice and face unreadable.

"…Yeah?" Selphie answered.

"What time tomorrow?"

------------------------------

"Can I ask you something?" Squall dared in half a whisper, unsure if this was the right path to take.

Rinoa was silent for a moment, confused slightly by his tone and the tight grip he kept on her hand over his heart. She looked straight into his eyes and nodded to him slowly, wanting him to see the safety and trustworthiness in her. "Anything. Always."

And he knew it was strange. Hell, everything now was strange for him. So many questions without answers, so many problems he didn't quite know how to solve. It was different now than it ever used to be, because time forgot him, left him a year ago – silent, solitary, a soldier – then pushed, shoved, and forced him to skip so many of the intermediary steps. Now, time was asking him to know the right things. Make the right choices. Understand feelings, and friendship, and faith. Time made him a hero… a man.

But he needed to go back. He needed to grow up. Fearful and uncertain, he knows he needs to ask the questions. Find the answers. Find the words. And find out what he'd missed.

He locked eyes with her, searching, and clutched both her little hands between his. "Tell me… Tell me. What does this mean?" He looked down at their hands, and then back into her eyes. He knew he wasn't clear. But it was all he could give to her, here.

Never moving her gaze, she lifted her hands away from his, only to show him his own hands turned palm up, offering. She traced his lines gently, then willed her eyes to show him the depth of her answer.

"This is strength," she whispered, slowly, tightening her grip on him to emphasize her words. "These… are you."

He accepted her answer with his eyes. Then he moved again, gently replacing her hands between his, and with his gaze he signaled her for another definition, another concrete, another real.

"This… is a chance," she murmured, her face softening this time as she gave her answer.

He didn't acknowledge it this time, but only moved her hands again, slowly, placing both over the center of his chest, and laying his hands over hers. He needed another answer.

His beat was steady, strong, a little fast, a little skipping, and his eyes were on fire with a thousand emotions he didn't know the motions for – he only knew the beat of his heart and the strength in his hands. She looked into his eyes and felt the tears well in her own, though she was neither sad nor happy, not really. She was merely full, by Squall's heart beat flood.

"This… is a guarantee," she whispered against his chest.

After a moment, he moved to put his arms around her, rest his head on her shoulder and smell her hair, until the scent and presence of her could make him confident again. She left her hands over his heart and buried her face into his warmth. She could hear his heart pound now, and feel it pulse at her fingertips. And they stood there a while, finding time… finding tune. Stepping back, and inching forward.

* * *

to come: Squall starts stepping back, and Rinoa finds out she has a few steps to figure out on her own. The rest of the gang is up to no good… will their covert operation continue to be a success? And International Affairs heat up, with Garden at the center! All this and more, more, more, coming up… **The Kiss**; _en garde_ is next! 

a/n: Sorry it's a little bit shorter than usual – after writing out the closing Squall/Rinoa scene, I felt it would be counter-thematic to continue with the lighter side of the story. Whoo! Another chapter out – you didn't think I had it in me, did you? Haha! I'm sorry it has taken so long, but let this be proof that I am still writing this story. ) Review me, please! Until next time, love to all - elsie


	5. en guarde

Disclaimer: I love ffviii… this is for everyone like me. Though we all wish it, none of us own what we've spent hours writing about. Hope you like my story.

--------------------------------------------

**  
The Kiss**_  
en guarde_

"Commander Leonhart:

Enclosed are the requested documents regarding the official change of leadership in Galbadia as well as contracts and all other relevant information pertaining to Galbadia Garden and its connection to the state of Galbadia. Please keep these copies for Balamb Garden's archives. If you have any more questions or need further documentation, do not hesitate to contact me again.

Regards,

President Caraway"

Reading over the short correspondence quickly, Squall shuffled through the thick stack of papers enclosed in the envelope Rinoa had brought him the previous Friday. He had forgotten all about it that day, even though he had promised her that he would get to it first thing. Another week flew by him; it was already Friday again, and he had finally found this envelope at the bottom of the stacks of paperwork he had slowly managed to tackle over the last five days. Thankfully (or not, as it was now even more to get through) it looked like simple paperwork for filing away and was not at all urgent; the files regarding change of power in Galbadia were meant only to be kept as back up records, and the rest of the items regarding Galbadia Garden were administrative and meant to become part of the official paperwork naming himself Garden Commander - the man ultimately in charge of all three Gardens. He knew from the beginning that he would never have to take on the Headmaster duties of Galbadia and Trabia Gardens and the title was more of an honorific than anything (as this was now a time of peace and Garden was not involved in any large scale military operations). He had already had his role written into Garden constitution and clarified - his duty as Commander was only in effect during declared war time. Still, it seemed everything had to be documented a thousand times, and just the motions of doing the tedious work made him not only Headmaster of Balamb Garden, but Commander.

All the procedure and paperwork and his daily 'performance' - acting out this role he was given - it was confusing for himself most of all, he was sure.

The sun was still high in the sky when Miss M buzzed in, letting Squall know there were no more appointments and he could leave the office for another short weekend reprieve. Squall glanced at his watch - 'only 5?' he murmured to himself questioningly. He buzzed back to M, thanking her for the day's work and stood up, papers still in hand. He flipped through the stack again quickly, almost like a deck of cards, then, deciding it was not urgent enough to warrant staying late for such a large stack of paperwork, tossed it to the side of his desk. The cover sheet with Caraway's letter and a few others from the top fluttered off the desk as the stack of papers settled, falling to rest on the floor not far away. He looked out the window, blinking back a bit of the sun's strong light - light he'd been hidden from day after day in his massive leather armchair. He gave the paperwork a last glance, then with a hop in his step turned his heel and walked out, hoping to enjoy some much needed sun for the first time that week. He had had plenty enough paperwork.

------------------------------

He didn't even stop to change his clothes. Here he was, shirt-and-slacks-Commander-Squall, up to his elbows in Caterchipillars and Bite Bugs (he rolled up his sleeves first, at least). Right now though, he hardly cared about getting dirty; he was just happy to stretch his limbs. Besides that, it was hard to find any other thoughts weighing on his mind. He let the energy inside him move freely – and though it had been the better part of many months since he'd last done any fighting, the art in his sword-arm was still as keen as his gunblade was sharp. No one could deny that Squall was a true natural.

And if nothing else, beating up monsters was definitely better than getting beat up in his office; by the phone constantly ringing, the never-ending stacks of paperwork, and even just trying to communicate effectively. Never before in his life was 'whatever' not enough. The learning curve for this Commander gig was huge.

The worst part for Squall was definitely the formal communication – unfortunately it was also the biggest part of the job. How do you say 'stop calling me all the Hyned time' while trying to stay as professional and polite as possible? It wasn't as if Squall had never given a speech before; he'd definitely given a few (of varying quality, reflected in his SeeD rank) over the last year leading Garden. But back then, he mostly just gave some directions over the intercom and that was that. He'd never realized however just how much talking you had to do as Commander, Headmaster,_whatever_ – he wondered how Cid could stand the sound of his own voice after so many years at Balamb. Squall was officially Commander for the span of only a few months and he was undoubtedly tired of himself. Meetings all day, phone calls, memos, hell it was even bad to write out e-mails since he heard his voice rambling on in his head as he typed. And after all that he would go to see her, Rinoa, his Rinoa, and he knew that she'd like to listen to him more, but the long days were trying enough without him fumbling words and embarrassing himself in front of the person he most wanted to impress. He was sorry for that, sorry that he couldn't communicate better to her of all people. He had to do his job though, and Squall would always,_always_ do his job. Like it or not, it was his duty. He hoped that it would get easier with practice.

For now though, Squall was glad to get some time away; the phone and the desk and papers and the headaches were far out of sight and out of mind. After drawing a full stock of Scan spells he decided to take a break from the Bite Bugs, feeling his muscles start to ache. "Yeesh," he mumbled, "I guess I'm out of shape. Has been a while, I guess..." He realized he was talking to himself and knew it was time to go back – he was tired, and it seemed that all his time spent 'practicing' at Commander was starting to hurt his Gunblade practice. _'Guess I should make more time for the Training Center,'_ he mused, as he started on his way back.

------------------------------

Zell stood by the main gates doing his usual punching routine, but looking quite a bit more antsy than usual. His gaze darted around, inspecting each passer-by, scanning their faces for one in particular. He'd been at the gates for well over an hour now, and things were starting to look dismal.

Stretching his arms, he turned to face the Garden, and then started mumbling to himself. A few girls walking past eyed him suspiciously, but he didn't notice, too wrapped up in his seemingly one-sided conversation.

"Zell, what do you mean you still haven't seen him?" an irritated voice sounded over the comlink in his ear.

"I'm tellin' ya he hasn't come by! I don't know where he is, you guys haven't seen him either so don't blame me!" Zell mumbled back indignantly.

Selphie only grumbled in response on the other line. "Well I don't know what to do then. We can't go this far just to play it stupid now. He's not in his office, he's not in his room, he's not with Rinoa –"

"Visual confirmation on Rinoa; she's alone, heading south out of the dormitories," Quistis assured, cutting Selphie off for a second.

"See, not with her!" Selphie sighed in frustration. "Where else would he be if not with her? Irvy, what about the Training Center?"

"For the 10th time in ten minutes darlin', he's not here. If anyone's interested in seeing a handsome cowboy do some target practice though –"

Quistis jumped in again, cutting Irvine off from his self-flattery, saying "look guys, we just have to wait. If we risk it now we'll get caught for sure. If you're all so impatient why don't we just meet up somewhere else?"

"Aw Quistis where's the fun in that?" Zell laughed.

"Zell are you alright?"

"AHHHH!"

------------------------------

"Zell are you alright?" Squall asked as he walked up towards his friend. He noticed a few girls sitting on benches by the entrance, presumably waiting for rides into town for the weekend, all giving Zell crazy looks. Then he glanced at Zell and saw him... talking to himself? Maybe he wasn't the only one who was over tired.

"AHHHH!" Zell jumped straight up, turning mid-air to recognize that he wasn't hearing things and it was indeed Squall bumping into him. Simultaneously three voices chimed into his ear –

"Zell is everything OK?"  
"Zell what the heck man?"  
"MY EAR!"

He wanted to apologize for Quistis's ear but Squall was right there, giving him the strangest look.

"Ahaha...!" Zell laughed nervously, playing off his surprise very poorly, "Hey Squall, sorry man, you startled me!"

"Are you alright? I thought I saw you talking to yourself. Those girls are all looking at you funny," Squall motioned at them with a nod of his head.

"Ahaha...! Well, um..." Zell rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, digging deep for something to say.

"You haven't been sleeping well, tell him you're having zombie nightmares!"  
"Just say yes, you like talking to yourself."  
"You're on your period!"  
"Irvy what does that have to do with getting startled?!"

Zell groaned inwardly and wished he could take the earbud out without Squall seeing. Squall spoke again though, saving Zell from having to come up with a lame excuse. "You must be tired, maybe you should go take a break."

Zell nodded thankfully at Squall's proffered explanation. "Uh, yeah man, yeah, I'm just tired. Ha ha, you know I would've picked up on you a mile away any other time, martial arts instincts and all that! Hah!" Squall raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing. Elaborating on the story, Zell used part of Selphie's excuse, saying "I just haven't been getting enough sleep I think, I'm gonna go lay down after this. What are you up to man? Go out for a walk?"

Squall nodded. "Yeah. You better get some rest Zell you're acting... uh, off," Squall said, trying not to sound harsh. He waved slightly then, and started walking away towards the main campus. "Get some rest, see you later."

Zell let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding the whole time._'Phew! At least he didn't notice the earbud...'_

"Good save Zell, but you forgot the zombies!"  
"And the part about your period!"  
"Irvine what the Hyne is the matter with you?" Quistis groaned over the line.

At that moment Squall turned around and shouted to Zell, "Hey do you know where Rinoa is?"

Quistis chimed in moments later with Rinoa's location. "She just stepped into the Cafeteria."

"Uh, I think she said she was hungry!" Zell shouted back, this time covering the microphone under his collar with his hand.

"Thanks!" Squall yelled from the distance, then continued on his way.

Zell watched Squall's back as he retreated further into the Garden, and when he knew Squall was well out of sight-range, he murmured into the communicator – "Selph, he's headed your way."

"Got it. Let's start moving guys." Then, with an obvious grin in her voice, Selphie chirped, "Things are looking up!"

------------------------------

Rinoa sighed. Inwardly she cursed her forgetful self – she'd left her ID card at her room again – and she couldn't eat at the cafeteria without it, not without Squall around anyway. The dinner ladies adored him, and never made him swipe his ID to get in. She sighed dejectedly. _'Not everyone is responsible for paying your salary though, I suppose,_' she justified to herself, then stepped out of the line and headed back towards the dorms.

On her way, she noticed a familiar blonde in pink about fifty feet ahead of herself in the lobby. Rinoa called out, "Hey Quisty!" waving a hand and quickening her step to catch up.

Quistis recognized Rinoa's voice immediately, and trying to hide her surprise, turned around to greet her. Thankfully, Rinoa couldn't notice Quistis jumping slightly from the shock at that distance. Composing herself, Quistis waved back and smiled, halting her steps so that Rinoa could catch up with her.

"Hey Quis," Rinoa smiled at her friend, "going to your room also?"

Quistis nodded, smiling back. "Yup," she replied, giving Rinoa a white lie, "you?"

"Yeah," Rinoa affirmed. "Forgot my ID again and the dinner ladies aren't attracted to me like they are to Squall so," she joked, while the two resumed walking towards their destination.

"Ah, I see," Quistis laughed, then suggested, "maybe you should put it around your neck with your rings, then you wouldn't forget." She grinned down at the shorter girl, teasing.

Rinoa chuckled at Quistis's joke. "Yeah, maybe. Are you hungry? We should have some hot dogs together or something," Rinoa grinned, poking a little fun at Zell while also inviting her friend to dinner.

"Ah, well..." Quistis paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to say no without sounding suspicious.

"Say yes! Save me a hot dog!"  
"You can't, there are zombies, lots of zombies, and we're dying without you Quisty!"  
"You just got your period!"

"I uh, just got my period actually," she managed, immediately regretting her words and stifling a groan. She had to run with it now though, so she followed up with "I'm feeling pretty ill, I think I'm going to lie down."

"Aw, I understand," Rinoa said comfortingly, then offered, "I'll walk you to your room, ok?"

"Thanks Rin, but you don't have to," Quistis replied, trying gently to shake her.

"A lady in distress should never walk alone!" Rinoa insisted, jokingly trying to sound gallant in hopes of making her friend feel a bit better. They linked arms at the elbow and strolled on, heading for Quistis's small apartment in the instructor's wing. Quistis, trapped by her excuse, could only go along with her friend, all the while desperately trying to block out the buzzing in her ear and not act suspicious.

"I must have ESPN, how else did I know you were on your period Quis?"  
"Quisty the zombieeeeeeess!"  
"The hot doggggssss!"

Quistis groaned inwardly for the 100th time today. _'How did I let myself get into this mess?'_

------------------------------

On arriving at the cafeteria, Rinoa was nowhere to be found. Squall was slightly miffed at this, but nonetheless decided to sit down and eat - he was just too hungry after his first workout in a long while. All in all it had been quite the solitary day, even for him. Besides the appointments at the office and then the short run in with Zell, he hadn't seen anyone else that day – not even Miss M., since he had skipped lunch yet again. He always came in before her and left after, so if he didn't leave the office for lunch he'd never see her, only hear her voice over the intercom buzz. He sighed to himself over a plate of the usual cafeteria suspects; mixed steamed veggies, mystery meatloaf ('_torama or dragon this week maybe, tougher than usual'_), funguar gravy and a dinner roll. Unenthused by the dinner offerings of the evening, he could do nothing but dwell in his thoughts. _'Maybe I should've asked someone to go hunting with me today.'_

He knew he wasn't very good at that though. In the past, it wasn't even something he'd think about. And he knew he had some bad habits from the past that he had to work on. Before, it worked for him - acting real tough and not getting close to anyone - he was the only one responsible for his heartache and he felt in control of his personal destiny. Then everything turned upside down; little did he know it then, but the night of the Garden party, the night he met Rinoa, things were already set in motion. And through the arduous adventure with the five friends he'd made he learned that he couldn't control everything, his fate or his future. Not even sorceress Ultimecia, bent on time compression and ultimate world destruction, was successful in that. He also learned about friends, people to count on. And he learned that maybe it felt better to have people in your heart than outside of it always.

He couldn't hate himself for the past, though. And he knew he wasn't all bad. He was soft-hearted deep down, he liked to work hard, he kept promises. The only thing he could be mad at himself for now, was if he didn't step forward from the past and try to be someone more, something good. '_Next time,_' he told himself, _'I'll get Zell or someone to come along. Hyne even Irvine would be better company than just me by myself. Oh geez, I'm talking to myself again. I'm going to invite them, if only to prevent talking to myself anymore than I have today.'_ He was trying, and that mattered.

He grunted into a third marathon morsel of meatloaf, longing for Rinoa's voice to listen to. Usually he got at least an hour of her company every day, and he found that spending time with her after a long day really helped him look forward to the next and the next. They hadn't talked any more about their conversation last week – partially because of lack of time, poor timing, and admittedly because Squall didn't know quite what to say. He was still working it out, thinking about her answers.

'_Strength... Chance... Guarantee.'_

He pondered over it as he had each day this week, but by the time he had cleared his plate he still didn't have any ideas. Try as he might, he just couldn't figure out exactly what she'd meant with her words that night.

------------------------------

Maybe she just insisted on walking Quistis because she needed some company. It had been a long week for everyone, even herself – Rinoa was now officially getting paid to mediate between Balamb Garden and the Galbadian government, half of her pay coming from each group, respectively. It was a job she liked; she spoke to the General more often than ever now (and not always about business), and she got to visit Squall in his office, wearing his dress shirts and ties, looking frazzled but sounding composed. '_On the whole it's a great job,' _she mused. It also cemented a place for her at the Garden, and even afforded her her own lodgings in the staff wing of the dormitory. No more crashing on Selphie's couch, although she'd miss having a roommate. She moved into her new place this past week which was hectic, on top of her regular work, and all the while doing some negotiating on the side for Watts and Zone and the rest of Timber.

She'd hardly even had time to see Squall this week, which was perhaps good and bad. She missed him of course, but she couldn't get that conversation from the week before out of her head. All she could do was think about it, but she couldn't find a way to bring it up again with Squall - and even if she did, to be honest she wasn't sure what she'd say. When she saw Quistis in the lobby something clicked in her mind – Rinoa was determined to get her company, even if it meant cornering Quistis in her room. Quistis ended up setting herself up perfectly.

They made it to Quistis's apartments and set about making some tea to calm Quistis's 'queasiness', at Rinoa's insistence. At this point, Quistis was close to giving up on meeting her co-conspirators at all this evening. She could hear them up to the usual antics over her earpiece, which she was still desperately trying to tune out. Mentally she chastised the three of them for starting without her, trying her best to focus her irritation at them, that they might hear her thoughts telepathically and tremble. She could hear Irvine, Selphie and Zell laughing away, presumably at the faint noise in the background. She could also distinguish the sounds of Zell preparing himself some hot dogs on the stove, cans of fizz popping open, and the crunch of potato chips in cello-aluminum wrapping. She sighed into her mug of tea, sending more mental daggers at 'Z.S.I.', cursing the pot of hot dogs on the stove...

"Quis, can I talk to you about something?"

Quistis was shaken out of her reverie, halting her hot dog hex. She looked over to Rinoa, who wore a serious expression on her face, and immediately her thoughts changed to worry for her friend. "Everything ok?" she asked gently.

Rinoa nodded. "Oh yeah of course, I'm just fine. I just wanted to ask your opinion about something." Rinoa looked bashful when she added, "Uh, it's about Squall. We had a talk last week and I can't stop thinking about it, its kinda driving me up the wall." Rinoa let out a little sigh and started playing with her tea mug absentmindedly.

On the line everything got quiet. "Oh my Hyne, I had to pause it, this is like a dream come true for me – I've never heard girl talk like this before, I don't know if I'm scared or excited –"  
A crash and muffled 'oof' erupted. Quistis could just make out Zell calling Irvine a sicko over Selphie roaring the same but more animatedly.  
"I can't believe they talked about S-E-"

More crashing could be heard over the line, the volume of it getting louder and causing Quistis to visibly flinch with the pain in her ear. '_Thank Hyne Rinoa can't hear this!_' Trying harder than ever to tune out the riot in her ear, Quistis murmured as comfortingly as possible, "I'm here for you Rin. So what did you talk about?"

Rinoa looked like she was trying hard to organize her thoughts. Slowly, she started, "Well, last Friday we took a walk around the grounds and then stopped to talk at the balcony, you know, off the ball room. He seemed really... I don't know. Confused maybe. That already I'm not sure how to read. Then he asked me a bunch of questions... he showed me his hands, our hands together, he held my hands over his heart... then he asked me what all that meant."

"Get your cowboy hat out of the gutter, sicko!"  
"What?! Maybe it's coming up, the big talk about S-E-"  
More banging and crashing sounds came over the line. After a second, Selphie came on with a serious note in her voice. "Quisty, turn the mic off, I'll be right over there." Then aside to Zell she added in her sweetest voice, "can you please knock some sense into him Zell? Thanks!"

Quistis heard the automatic door slide as Selphie left to meet up for the girl talk, then turned her attention back to Rinoa. Placing a hand over Rinoa's reassuringly, Quistis said, "Rin, that sounds wonderful really. Romantic even, I didn't expect that out of Squall." She smiled at her friend and gave a little laugh at the joke.

Rinoa smiled back but didn't laugh. "Well to be honest, at the time it felt very romantic, but its been a week and I guess I'm just agonizing over it." At this, Rinoa laughed a bit at her own insecurity. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to organize all the jumbled emotions from that night so that she could say something Quistis would understand. After a few quiet moments, she was about to continue when they heard a soft knocking at Quistis's door. A second after they heard Selphie's distinctly cheerful greeting, muffled by the barrier.

"I'll be right back," Quistis told Rinoa, standing up to open the door to their friend and taking the opportunity to remove her com-link mic and hide it while Rinoa couldn't see. _'The guys have heard too much already_,' she thought to herself, shaking her head. Then, hitting a button to the right of the door frame, the door slid away, revealing a bouncing Selphie. "Come in Selph," Quistis smiled and waved, stepping aside to allow her friend access to the main room. "Good timing on your visit Selph, we could use another girl's opinion on something," she added, pretending that Selphie's arrival was a total surprise.

"Thanks!" Selphie smiled to Quistis, then looking over to the island in Quistis's small kitchenette, she chimed, "Hey, Rinny, I didn't know you were here!" Feigning a moment of closer inspection, Selphie continued a second later, "gosh, you guys look so serious, what's going on?"

Quistis had to admit, Selphie could put on a good act when she wanted to. "We were just talking about Squall," Quistis answered, pretending to fill her friend in on the story. "Rin, why don't you start over? We're all here now, and three heads are definitely better than one, right?"

Rinoa smiled at her friends and nodded. "Yeah." She took a few moments to collect her thoughts again, then started over - "well, Selph, I had a talk with Squall last week, he seemed more serious than usual and almost confused, then he asked me a bunch of questions." She animated her story slightly, her facial expressions a dead give away to her confusion and conflicting emotions from the other night. Pushing her mug around on the table, she went on, "sort of, anyway. He showed me his hands, then our hands together, then he held my hands over his heart... and asked me what all that meant, if that makes sense." The other girls nodded, showing Rinoa they were following along. Rinoa continued, "I can tell you what I told him. I told him that his two hands were his strength, our hands together was a chance, and his heart was a guarantee... thinking about it now I'm not sure why I said all that, or what I even meant." Rinoa frowned at this point, obviously frustrated. "Maybe I've been thinking about it too much, I don't know. We didn't talk anymore after that really. And we haven't talked about it since, so I'm just thinking all kinds of things without knowing what he thinks at all..." Rinoa threw her hands up into the air in her frustration, and shook her head at her own thoughts. "I don't know. Thinking about it now, I'm not sure why he would even ask questions like that."

"Have you told him you love him yet?" Selphie asked, rather bluntly.

"Ah, Selph," Rinoa blushed, "I, um..."

"Rin don't say that you don't, its pretty obvious," Quistis said, making both Selphie and herself laugh. Rinoa just blushed a bit brighter.

"So I'll take that as a no," Selphie continued, smiling at Rinoa. Looking thoughtful for a second, she addressed Rinoa seriously, "probably better right now that you don't tell him yet anyway, honestly I don't know if he'd know what to do with it, yanno?" Selphie gave Rinoa a reassuring look, adding, "I mean, when we first met he was as cold as a Glacial-Eye, and right now I'd say he's maybe just starting to thaw out a bit," she grinned at her friend. "I'm not saying he hasn't made a huge leap forward, and I think we really have you to thank for that Rinny, but maybe let him warm up a bit more."

Quistis nodded in agreement with Selphie's comments and continued, "he really seems to be trying for you Rin. I just think about him from when we were kids... what I can remember anyway. And I remember what I know about him from being here at the Garden together. He's never really had anybody close to him besides Elle, and we were all really young when we lost touch with her. I'm sure you had lots of friends. I did, Selph too for sure, no doubt about that," she laughed, smiling at Selphie. "I think, especially in terms of the rest of us, he's just trying to get that figured out. It must be a lot harder to figure out what your relationship is to him, if its taking him so long to figure out what we mean to him."

Rinoa nodded, thinking about what the girls said. Its true, they did know him a lot longer than she did. And all the reflections on his history were true also. She had even talked a little with Squall about the rest of the gang, and she could see it in his face and in his eyes that it was something he definitely thought deeply about, more so than he expressed to her in a few words.

Selphie and Quistis both smiled at Rinoa reassuringly. Quistis squeezed her hand, and told her, "just give him some more time Rin, I'm sure you guys will talk about that again." With a thoughtful look, she assured, "I don't think you gave him any kind of 'wrong' answers if you're worried about that. Sounds sensible if you ask me, and Squall is all about what makes sense, we all know that," she laughed at Squall's sometimes (ok often) over-seriousness. "Maybe he just wanted to know what you'd call those things. What they mean to you."

"Then he could figure out what they mean to him, maybe?" Selphie piped in.

Rinoa 'Mm'ed thoughtfully in reply. "I guess I can understand that."

Quistis nodded once more. She smiled at Rinoa, and hoping to lighten the mood, stated, "the gesture itself seems so sweet though, I mean –"

"Its like straight out of a movie Rinny!" Selphie squealed, jumping on this turn of the conversation. "Is that what your dates are always like?"

Rinoa blushed, replying, "ah, well I wouldn't really call them dates, we just usually meet up for dinner after work, and ah, maybe?"

"Maybe as in yes?" Selphie laughed. "I didn't know Squall was so sweet!"

"So tell us about the rest of your dates, Rin," Quistis grinned, conspiratorially.

"They're not really dates you guys," Rinoa blushed brighter, trying to wave off their questions.

"Rinny we can't girl talk if you don't give us all the details!" Selphie pleaded.

Quistis and Selphie proceeded to bombard Rinoa with questions of all sorts, making her blush spread straight down to her toes. She stuttered and stammered, unable to answer even the simplest question.

"What do you guys talk about?"

"Does he go for your hand first or do you have to initiate?"

"Do you dress up for him? Does he dress up for you?"

"Is he a good kisser?"

"How far have you guys gone?"

"OH MY HYNE I TOLD YOU IT WOULD GET HERE ZELL!"

Selphie and Quistis jumped straight out of their chairs, looking at each other and realizing it simultaneously; while Quistis put her mic away, Selphie, in her rush to get over, forgot to leave hers behind. They had the same thought – _'Oh my Hyne the guys heard EVERYTHING!'_

The tone in the room instantly changed, Rinoa looked at them both like they had gone off the deep end. "Syncronized Chair Jumping a new event in the Olympics you guys?" she questioned, eying them both and laughing nervously.

Frantically they looked for an excuse for their erratic behavior. In their ear pieces all Selphie and Quistis could hear was hysteric laughter coming from Irvine and Zell's chant of 'sicko', disgust coloring his voice.

Selphie, remembering her original ruse for the surprise visit to Quistis's apartment, grabbed a small package and held it high, hoping it would be enough to at least distract Rinoa from her suspicions. In a high pitched, nervous voice, Selphie yelped, "Quistis I forgot! I came over to bring you these tampons for your period!"

The laughter over the com-link only increased, and it was all Quistis could do to accept the package and mumble 'thanks'.

------------------------------

Later that night, Squall found himself at the usual place. He might not have made any breakthroughs on the issue of last week, but by the end of the night he wasn't unhappy. It had been a good day, even if it was a bit lonely. He had enjoyed his break from work that afternoon and his trek out of the Garden. Even dinner wasn't too bad - tough but perhaps more edible than the usual. He was tired, but something in him was resisting the urge to sleep. So, though the hours of this day were quickly coming to an end, he took another long walk after leaving the cafeteria, and found himself here, breathing in the cool air and feeling peaceful.

-----------------------------

A while after the girls parted ways, Rinoa thanking Selphie and Quistis both, then declaring her intent to find Squall, she started her search. Talking with the two girls definitely made her feel better about the events of last Friday, and now all she wanted was to see Squall again. Somehow it had gotten very late, past 11PM – she had been at Quistis's apartment since dinnertime. She hoped that Squall hadn't already gone to bed – in a rush she checked his usual haunts; no luck at the training center or the office, and no answer at his apartment. Finally, she found him standing at their balcony, looking up. She smiled when she saw him stargazing, something he seemed to like very much. It seemed almost whimsical of him, and she found it entirely endearing. She walked up to him slowly, her footsteps rousing him from his reverie as he turned to greet her.

"Hello."

She smiled and almost laughed at his simple greeting. She walked straight into his embrace, feeling his arms wrap around her tightly while she slipped her own arms around his waist. Breathing him in, she grinned and murmured into his chest, "hey yourself."

He gave her a little smile and was quiet for a moment. Then, "I was beginning to think I'd miss you today."

"Mm, almost, yeah," she replied, tilting her head back to look up into his face. "I ate dinner at Quistis's, we were chatting and I lost track of time."

"Ah," he nodded, understanding.

"Where were you today?" she asked, wondering out loud. "I didn't see you at the office around the usual time."

"I left early and took a walk outside." She nodded up at him, expectantly. Recognizing that she wanted him to elaborate, he added, "it turned into a long walk. I brought my gunblade."

"Aha!" she laughed. "Well, did you have a good 'walk'?" she smirked at him, making bunny ears with her fingers on 'walk'.

He gave her a slight smirk back and answered simply, "yes," but gave no more information on how he'd spent his time thinking today, and ever since dinner thinking especially about her. Instead, he asked, "did you have a good time with Quistis?"

She smiled and nodded, replying with a happy note in her voice. "It was good, Selph came too. We just talked for a while." Likewise, she wasn't going to tell him about her thoughts today, especially her thoughts on him. He raised an eyebrow, knowing just by looking at her that there was more to this story, but he let it go, as she'd let him pass on her own question.

He gave her a soft smile and looked down into her eyes, finding a smile there for him in return. By the stars he figured it was just about midnight now, but he was still glad he got to see her, if only for a few minutes today. She looked beautiful. Maybe a little tired, too - he wondered if her day was as long as his. She was warm in his arms, and he could feel her fingertips knotting in the material of his shirt - something she did absentmindedly, he imagined. The smell of her soap was gentle, just like her, natural and fresh and better than any perfume. And somehow his day just got infinitely better. He wanted to tell her but could hardly speak - he opened his mouth but no sound would come out. Instead he inhaled slowly, taking her in again. Leaning down, he placed a feather-light kiss in her hair, bringing one arm up higher, around her shoulders, inching his hand to her slender neckline. The skin of his hand was rough and sent tingles through her - it was all she could do to sigh as he kissed her, touching his lips to her brow, then her cheek, and finally, after what seemed like forever waiting in blissful agony, he touched his lips to hers.

On his lips she easily read how he'd missed her today, he didn't have to say the words for her to know. She willed her lips not to tell him what she couldn't yet say.

Her lips put him in a trance, her words captivating his mind again as they kissed. Strength. Chance. Guarantee. In his mind's eye he saw his hands, their hands, and his heart.

And he decided right then to take the meanings at face value. Honestly, he didn't know how else he could understand them – for now this was the only way he had. So if that's what these things meant to her, three words full of significance, connotations, implications... then he would be those things. He would be strong, he would embrace this opportunity, their possibility. He'd already given her the promise. He would assure her everyday. He would be the epitome of these words she gave him, these words full of meaning to her. He would mean something to her.

_He would mean something to her._

He kissed her deeply, letting himself fall further into her, happy with the answers he'd found here, on her lips. He kissed her deeply, knowing that with time, and with practice, there would be more to find.

It was enough for them both for now, to simply kiss and know by the feeling of it that maybe there was nothing worth worrying over after all. She couldn't deny it when their lips met - she loved him. And she had told him the truth that night when he asked those questions - the truth about what she saw in him, what she valued in him. She'd told him she loved him in the words he was ready for. Now she just had to wait until he knew how to say it back.

------------------------------

The darkness swallowed the room nearly whole, the only reprieve being a bit of starlight falling in through the window behind the huge and scarred old desk. The pages he'd strewn hastily over the surface of it were just as they had been, haphazard and out of place. A few sheets had hit the floor and scattered around the dead monument of oak and polish, while one, just one, managed to sneak underneath the wooden beast, to lay in wait, plotting, patient... for the moment of discovery, and the sharp surprise of a fierce and frantic bite.

"Squall Leonhart:

As you well know the first annual inter-Garden competitions are approaching. Besides being a chance for increased networking possibilities for students and improved inter-Garden relations, the event at its core is based in healthy competition.

I propose that beyond competition between students representing their respective Gardens, the administrations themselves become a part of the competition. It can logically be inferred that the students that win in the series of challenges set forth during the event largely represent the quality of the Garden they attend. Thus, it is simple to draw a correlation between a particular Garden's ability to teach fine soldiers and that particular Garden's ability to lead the entire Garden program by example.

Somehow you sir have been appointed Commander of Garden. I propose that your job be on the line at each year's inter-Garden event. The Headmaster of the Garden whose students win the most events shall become Commander for the following year thereafter.

Below is a short contract already signed by myself and Trabia Garden's Headmaster. According to Garden bylaw this rule for the competition has already come into effect by two-thirds majority, and you cannot veto. The bylaws clearly state, 'for issues encompassing all three Gardens, a two-thirds majority rule must be held for all decisions to pass'. You need not sign, but I suggest you do.

See you at the competition Leonhart!

Matthieu Martine

Headmaster, Galbadia Garden"

--------------------------------------

to come: Both Rinoa and Squall have come to some conclusions about their last big romantic encounter, but some challenges are looming just around the corner. The inter-Garden tournament is nearly at hand – and unbeknownst to Squall, Headmaster Martine has upped the ante. On top of that, preparing for the inter-Garden games causes Squall to suffer another prolonged distance from Rinoa. How will this drama unfold? And what on earth are Z.S.I. and Quistis actually up to?! **The Kiss;** _lonely words _is coming up next!

a/n: A bit long and serious but I guess that's just my style, hehe. I gave Martine a first name since his was never mentioned (to my recollection) in the game – I chose a French first name since Martine to me was very French. I have to say it is fun trying to fit in monsters from the FFVIII bestiary into the story, I kinda just used one reference and then it grew on its own to more and more! I made quite a few revisions, hopefully improving the pacing a bit. After getting away from the chapter for a while then doing a usual reread, I found it unsatisfactory, and so I added and amended even though I know this chapter is already quite long (and my apologies for that). Besides all that, I just want to say again that I have the story worked out to conclusion now and its just a matter of time. Sorry again for taking forever, but life is all about screwing up your most noble plans. Hope you liked it, and hope to see you at the next chapter as well! - elsie


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